"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
-Albert Schweitze (via Fiona - thank you!)
Well folks, it's that time of year again: I can see my breath in my house, the temperature inside my fridge is warmer than my kitchen, and as of today the water pipes in my bathroom are frozen, rendering my toilet useless for the time being. Temperatures outside are -11°C (12°F). I'm drinking cognac to keep warm, but now I've got to pee and nowhere to do it. I suppose I could use the outhouse, but it's snowy, dark and scary outside! :)
I've officially made up the fold-down couch in my living room (where the wood stove is) with sheets and blankets, and will sleep there the rest of the winter. My daily workout routine once again includes a warm-up of wood chopping and hauling - it gets my heart rate up! And the stiletto heels are back in action getting me through the ice and snow - they're like built in ice picks.
Stiletto traction.
Wood for winter!
This time a year, firestarters are my best friend.
Igorche LOVES winter!
My "Posh" Corps complaints are kept in check when I think of the work my brother is doing, especially now that winter is setting in. For the past 6 months Ian has been working as a Wilderness Guide at the Wilderness Treatment Center located on a rustic ranch in the heart of Montana's Rocky Mountains. It's a 60 day licensed, residential chemical dependency treatment program for young men ages 14 to 24 from all over the US. The treatment philosophy is a 12-step recovery program, which includes a 16-21 day wilderness experience that my brother helps facilitate, backpacking with the young men and teaching them survival skills. Ian actually called me late last night, having just returned from a 16 day wilderness expedition in Yellowstone National Park. He saw 2 packs of wolves and found fresh tracks from a large pack not far from their camp. Their trip was also blessed by a chorus of bugling elk. Considering my brother graduated with a certificate in Wilderness and Civilization, this job is a perfect fit for him. This was illustrated beautifully in something my brother said to me after his first wilderness expedition with the treatment center, (as I remember it) I quote:
"On the 3rd day of the trip I dislocated my shoulder while hanging bear ropes in a tree, fell out of the tree while trying to climb down with the dislocated shoulder, and ripped the crotch out of my pants. Far from any sort of medical help, I figured out how to pop my shoulder back into place, hang the bear ropes and sew my pants....DREAM JOB!!!"
Photos by Jesse Gable: hanging bear ropes and backpacking in the Bob Marshall Wilderness with Ian Truscott
I love my brother! Seeing him so alive in this wilderness therapy work warms my heart. It is inspiring to see people doing work that they love - work in which their gifts and talents come alive, whatever those may be. I don't just mean employment work; for some employment is a means to an end, work that pays the bills and allows one's calling to be discovered elsewhere. I hope to combine my passion with employment, though I've been struggling with my calling, feeling like I have all this pent-up passion, but never knowing in what work capacity to expend it.
I've tried a myriad of work experiences the past 15 years, but feel like the shepherd boy from The Alchemist on this journey to find my treasure, in pursuit of my Personal Legend, but not knowing nor understanding where it's leading me. The shepherd boy's journey took him to foreign lands and back again, where he discovered his treasure at precisely the same spot from which he embarked on his journey. This has been true for me too. This fall I made a breakthrough. I discovered my passion, my calling, my vocation. I know with my whole heart what it is I am called to do and I have been reveling in that realization, savoring the knowing these past few months. It turns out my treasure, my Personal Legend, my Master Work, has been with me all along, right before my eyes, yet I never saw it as such. It was my fear of failure that kept me from attempting this Master Work, and even now that I know what it is, I still find myself afraid to take the steps necessary to do it.
I have been particularly aware of my inner critic recently - she has a nonstop commentary going on in my head: "Who am I to do this work? You can't do this. You will fail. How silly of you to consider such a thing!" and so on. She is SO annoying. :)
Though I read The Alchemist a year or two ago, the wisdom from it lingers. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
“We are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there” (vi)
“The boy was beginning to understand that intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life..."(74)
“It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the Master Work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years” (99).
"They [Alchemists] show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” (150)
With that said, I am working on becoming my own ally instead of my own worst critic, one of many necessary small steps in the direction of my calling. Thanks to my brother and all those who have dared to live a life true to themselves, you inspire me and ignite my inner spirit with hope that I may have the courage to do the same.
PS. Ian's heading in for shoulder surgery this month. Join me in sending him some healing energy.
Lots of LOVE from Macedonia.
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